The Doctors convention

There's a bunch of doctors gathered together at a doctor's convention one night.

A male doctor notices a female doctor from across the room. The female doctor notices also and the next thing you know, they're sitting next to each other by the end of dinner.

After dinner, the male asks the woman if she wants to go up to his hotel room.

''Sure,'' the woman says. ''Let me go wash my hands first.''

After she washes her hands, they have sex. After they are finished, she washes her hands again.

This is really starting to annoy the male doctor so he says, ''You know, you must be a surgeon, because you keep washing your hands.''

Angry at this remark, the woman says, ''Well, you must be an anasthesiologist, because I didn't feel a thing!''

What's a bitch and a pussy?

A boy comes home one day and runs up to his mom.

"What's a bitch and a pussy?"

"Well," Mom says, "a bitch is a female dog and a pussy is a cat."

The boy thinks to himself that this doesn't sound right since the other kids were calling each other that. So he goes to Dad.

"What's a bitch and a pussy?"

Dad pulls out his Playboy and opens it to the centerfold. He draws a circle around the woman's pussy.

"Now that's a pussy, son! And everything else is the bitch!"

The Three Rules

Once there was this man whose car broke down. He realized after looking for help for 10 minutes that there was a small farmhouse with an old lady sitting on the porch. He told her his unfortunate story and she gladly let him in. But first she told him, ''I have three rules that you musn't break or I'll see to it that you meet justice! But since talking hurts my throat so much, I won't tell you my rules.''

She let him sleep in the laundry room. He found himself a comfortable pile of old wool sweaters. After puffing his "pillow" he realized that a pair of pants were hanging down from a clothes line over top of his new bed. Seeing that it was no big deal he pulled them down. Instantly the old lady darted into the room and said, ''YOU BROKE MY FIRST RULE!''

He was sent outside to sleep in the donkey's stable. Right beside him was a tiny donkey kicking him so much that he slapped it. In a flash grandma was there: ''You broke the second rule. Watch out.''

He was sent onto the porch to sleep. All of a sudden a big, ugly cat came along and started rubbing all over him. Being allergic to cat hair, he shaved it bald. Here came the grandma. ''You broke the third rule,'' she starts, ''I'm calling the cops.''

The cops came and requested a description of what happened. The old lady said, ''That man is a damned rapist. He pulled down my pants, slapped my ass and shaved my pussy!''

Sex with the nun

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.

"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."

The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.

"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.

"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"

"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"

Dumb And Dumber

A father, mother, and son were going to Europe and were going to visit the nude beaches while they were there.

They didn't want the son to get a distorted view of beauty, so they told him, "The men with really big dicks and the girls with really, really big boobs were both really, really dumb."

When they got to the beach they split up. Later the mother saw the son and asked where his dad was.

The boy said, ''Well, the last time I saw him he was talking to this really, really, dumb blonde, and the longer they talked, the dumber he got.''

Egg Donor

One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars.

A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it.

"Oh, that," Frank said. "Every time I cheated on you, I put an egg in this box." Sue was a bit unhappy about this, but figured that 3 affairs over twenty years wasn't so bad.

"But what about the 10,000 dollars?"
"Every time I got a dozen, I sold them."